A forgotten fridge behind an old building. for some reason it made me think of a casket, Taken in Bartlesville, OK on April 24, 2005.

I am preparing for a weekend getaway with a few girlfriends in Monterey, CA. It is a gorgeous day so the drive up should be lovely. My friend Tanya got a free weekend pass from her husband, so he’s taking over parental duties for their four children. I fear that after his this weekend he might never give Tanya this much time off again, so I’m going to enjoy it while I can!

I was feeling a bit blue last night, and decided to write about it. I ended up beginning a new chapter in my book – or maybe it’s the whole chapter, I don’t know. My book continues to evolve and take me in new directions. What is exciting is that, because I don’t feel any attachment to what this book will or won’t look like when it is done, I’m open to anything. When I first started I thought it would be one thing, then that morphed into something else, and now things are shifting again. I sent my first few chapters to my girlfriend Pixie – the first person to lay eyes on them – and soon after I sent them I came to the discovery that I actually didn’t need them, that they were simply meant to be a way for me to release certain things and practice writing. There will probably be bits and pieces that I will take from them for the chapters I am working on now, but once again, the structure and outline of the book are moving in a new direction, and my only job here is to follow it. Which is a good thing, as Pixie had already reached the same conclusion as I had – that these first chapters weren’t what the book was really about and that, in the end, it wasn’t even particularly interesting! She was, of course, very diplomatic and sensitive in the way she expressed her opinion, but her honesty is the reason I wanted her to read it. I knew she’d give it to me straight. That is the great thing about not being attached – any feedback is good feedback and if I don’t agree with it I don’t have to take it personally or do what someone else thinks. I feel like I am riding the rapids in a place I’ve never been – everything is new, it’s not always comfortable, sometimes I get frustrated and flung into the water, but if I just relax and let the water take me, I’ll be fine and will eventually reach a beautiful peaceful place (or a raging waterfall, we’ll see.)

"Art is like beginning a sentence before you know its ending." Art & Fear