Contrast.  I love the dark dress on the nun against the yellow flowers.  Taken July 24, 2005 in Santa Ynez, CA.

Life never ceases to present us with interesting twists and turns every single day.  Some are as simple as what to eat for breakfast, and some carry a bit more weight to them.  I was recently presented with an interesting opportunity from a possible business partner, and I told this person I need a week to think about it.  The idea is solid, and is something familiar that I have actually already put a lot of time and energy into.  I know this person well and I believe we have enough of a foundation of honesty and respect to go into this with locked arms.  I was totally honest with her about my fears, all of which are related to the very unpleasant experiences I have had with any other types of partnerships in business.  She completely understood where I was coming from and is totally clear on what I absolutely cannot go through anymore, which is agreeing to partner with someone who then turns around and does not follow through with their responsibilities and commitments.  In all honesty, I have done this to someone and I have had people do it to me, and in both situations something much more valuable than anything financial or material was lost, and I cannot go through that again.

I do not care if we fail or succeed.  I only care that we do our very best work and we both see it through to whatever end it may reach.  I only need to know that we will be able to count on each other through the entire experience.

I am taking this week to think very carefully if I want to do this.  If I agree to do it, then I’m in 100%, which will mean plenty of time will be taken away from my writing and my painting.  It is an idea I feel passionate about and believe in – otherwise I would not even be considering it – but I do need to seriously consider what my priorities are right now and what I really want to put my heart into.   This is actually a nice dilemma to have.  I feel fortunate.

I have to weigh my desire to shift full time into writing and painting against my desire to pick up where I left off on a project that I feel was taken away from me, a project I believed in with all of my heart.  I have to weigh my fears of going through another bitter breakup against my dream of creating something meaningful with a partner I can count on.  I have to weigh my desire to retreat further into my solitary life as an artist against my desire to inspire as many people as I can by being "out there" more.  I know I can still be inspiring with writing and painting, but the day to day existence of those pursuits involve only me and my laptop or my canvas.  With this other idea, I would be very much involved with a great deal of people.

I thrive on situations like this, where I get to look closely at what is really important to me and think carefully about what direction I want to take in my life.  I was telling my girlfriend Melissa that I had just cleared my calendar to paint and write, and if I do this other thing, that will go away.  She pointed out the fact that perhaps my calendar was cleared in order for this opportunity to present itself, and I agree wholeheartedly with her.  Sometimes we think we are preparing for one thing, but it turns out to be something entirely different.  It is now time for me to consider all of this, and then, very simply, make a choice.  And don’t look back.

"How do you make God laugh?  Tell Him your plans."