Taken September 10, 2005 while peeking over a stone wall into a neighbor’s beautiful rose garden.

No internet service for most of the day.  Power outage for part of the afternoon, which triggered the alarm system in our condo – which we don’t even use – so I got to listen to an incessant, high-pitched beeping for almost an hour.  When the power came back on and my internet service was working, I began a frantic race to get out as many emails as I could in case everything collapsed again.  Since then, all seems to be in working order, but I’ll still type fast to make sure I can get this entry posted today.

This past weekend I got into a bit of an emotional tizzy worrying about all matters financial.  Once I moved through the worst of it, and returned to the comfortable space of trusting it will all work out, I contemplated the fact that in every situation I struggle with I am called upon to do the exact same thing:  let go.  Whether it is fretting about money, running late, getting into an argument with a friend, feeling blocked creatively or feeling guilty that I don’t call my mom enough, it is always the same.  I must let go and release – fear, guilt, anger, expectations, anxiety, sadness, destructive relationships, the past, the future and in some cases my very own dreams and desires.  More than anything, this is my mantra when I feel my insides begin to tighten.

I heard a lecture on NPR many years ago by a Buddhist speaker, and he said the more we try to cling or hold on to anything, the more we invite suffering into our lives.  For some reason, this tiny snippet of a radio program stayed with me, and I think of it whenever I recognize that whatever anxiety I am feeling is being caused by my not letting go.  It is such a simple concept, yet is often times the most difficult thing we can do.  I am doing my best everyday to embrace this concept and accept the fact that life rarely hands our dreams over to us in a beautiful box with a perfectly tied bow, exactly the way we envision them.  But I have realized time and again that the more I am willing to let go, the more I open myself up to even greater possibilities and experiences – greater than I could have ever imagined.

"We must be willling to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell