A rainbow of inks, a gift from darling Pixie.

From the time I was a teenager, I have experienced various emotional peaks and valleys.  As the years I have passed, it has been easier for me to precisely pinpoint where my greatest dips were, as well as how I was able to claw my way out of them.  With all of these roller coaster rides under my belt, I have created an extremely useful toolbox that helps me move through certains moods, dips, and dark places with much greater ease than even just a few years ago.  Ironically, it was my absolute darkest moment that enabled me to turn a corner to a place where I began to learn how to take care of myself during these times.

The first of these tools is to release judgement.  A certain route to even greater depths of depression is to feel guilty about being in a dark place.  It is all too easy to look at my life – which, let’s face it, is a dream life! – and make myself feel like a horrible person if I am not Little Miss Sunshine 24/7.  Because really, why on earth would I ever have any reason to feel bad?!  Particularly in light of situations such as New Orleans, the pull to berate myself can get very strong.  This does not mean I just crawl under a rock and wallow, it just means I accept what is.  I accept that I am in a weird place and I don’t dwell on it.  No judgement.  Only acceptance.

Beyond that, I visualize my dark mood as a river that is flowing through me.  By doing this, I find it easier to trust that the darkness is temporary.  It is not stagnant.  It is flowing, and eventually will move out of me.

I also don’t hesitate to call my friends.  I have a close-knit circle of girlfriends whom I can call and say, "I’m in a weird place!" or "I need a friendly voice." and they totally get it.  I can call them when I need advice, when I need to gripe, when I need to sob and when I need to laugh.  They have all been through it, so they all know how to reach into the muck and pull me out.  They know exactly where to find me.

When I get really desperate, I let the floodgates open and I force myself to cry when I need to.  I say force myself because this is probably my greatest challenge, even though I’ve learned time and again that once I allow that to pour out of me, I’m much better off when it’s all over.  As hard as it can be to face that sadness, anger or fear, it is the best thing I can do to honor the flowing nature of my emotions.

Working home alone – especially now that I am in LA and miles away from my closest friends – it is imperative I do all I can to take care of myself through all the good, the bad and the not-as-pretty-as-I-would-like-it-to-be.  If I don’t, then I am truly taking for granted all my blessings.  I have learned to be thankful for all of the dark times I have experienced, because they have made me stronger and have made me feel more positive about life.

"Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."  -Chinese Proverb