Being sick is never what I would call a treat, but for some reason this week I have allowed myself – perhaps more than any other time in my life – to just go with it.  I’m not sitting here worrying about all the things I am not getting done; I’m not fretting over to do lists that I can’t triumphantly cross off line by line as the day progresses.  I’m just resting, and trying to give whatever bug that has invaded my body the respect it deserves.  "I get it", I say, "Resistance is futile.  You’re here, and you’ll stay here for as long as I am unwilling to sit still and allow you to sneak away quietly."  If I resist and keep pushing myself I only feel worse, and eventually have to break out the big cannons and try to bomb this thing out of me with antibiotics that I have to take for ten days with all kinds of side effects.  A visit to the doctor.  More time lost.  Thanks for the offer, but I’d rather camp out in bed for a couple of days and kill this thing with kindness.

It could be much worse – I don’t have a runny nose, I don’t have the flu.  I have a nasty cough, sore throat and frog voice, but other than that I’m functioning.  I have my laptop.  I have a lot of great websites to explore and journals to read.  I have today’s newspaper, crossword puzzles, magazines, DVDs, and plenty of tea.  I can indulge in my email addiction and have an excuse to watch my favorite episodes of "Arrested Development".  I am getting to know these shows like the back of my hand, yet I still crack up in all the same parts.

My fiancee is gone for the week, so I’m dealing with this on my own, but that has been OK too.  I don’t worry about keeping him awake at night with my coughing.  I can sit around in my pajamas all day and not have to worry about making myself at all presentable to him or anyone else.  I can leave dishes in the sink and clothes tossed around our bedroom.  I’m just hibernating here, curling up in a cocoon and looking at this as a recovery period from an intense few months of work.  Taking this week as a lesson that the world will continue to function even if I’m not doing a damn thing.

I am lucky I am able to take this time.  I can sink into getting better and just focus on my health, and look forward to the day I’ll wake up energized and ready to dive back into my studio.  Maybe that day will be tomorrow.  If not, time to put on another pot of tea.

"Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes and the grass grows by itself."  -Zen Proverb