Imaginings
December 21, 2005
For Illustration Friday :: This week’s theme is IMAGINE.
"The secret, I don’t know… I guess you’ve just gotta find something you love to do and then… do it for the rest of your life. For me, it’s going to Rushmore." -Max Fisher, Rushmore
I created this piece in honor of my favorite film of all time, Rushmore. The lead character, Max Fisher, knows what he loves and he goes for it with unbridled passion and persistance, despite the many obstacles that stumble onto his path with almost every step. I have had this picture of him somewhere on a wall, tacked to a bulletin board or tucked into a journal for many years now, so I decided it was time to give him a permanent home. I love this picture of him being quiet and still (both of which he rarely is throughout the film) and I wonder what he could be thinking about. What is it that he is imagining?
I have had so many wild imaginings for my life throughout all the years I’ve walked on this earth, and I am somewhat astounded to I realize many of them have come true. From the time I was 13 years old I dreamed of wandering through the streets of Europe and nine years later I did it. In high school I never envisioned a quiet, stable life and sure enough I haven’t had it. This has sometimes been traumatic, but often times it has been adventurous, creative, challenging and fulfilling. I dreamed of creating an inspiring, colorful world called Swirly and I made it real. I imagined living my life as an artist after reading SARK‘s first book, "Creative Companion" when I was in graduate school and a few years later I got to meet her and thank her in person for inspiring me to make the leap. Not only did I get to meet her, but she listed my book in her delightful "Make Your Creative Dreams Real". I could go on and on. And on.
There have also been plenty of times when I have failed, fallen flat on my face, made monstrously stupid mistakes and imagined things for myself that I now think about and laugh out loud. At one point in my most recent coaching session with the astounding Andrea Scher I exclaimed to her, "I’m no saint!" and she responded with a hearty, "Yeah!!", celebrating all the large and small bits of imperfection that plague me during so many moments of my life. And this is where I stand in awe at the wonder of it all – with all of my flaws, fumbles and foibles, I have still managed to create a life that is actually greater than I ever imagined it. How the hell?
I wrote yesterday of the small but meaningful art collection in my studio. One of the smallest items hanging on my wall above my desk is a framed newspaper clipping. It is an illustration of a figure underneath a rainbow, and above it in yellow letters it says "You can make a difference." My grandma cut it out years ago and made a few changes – she crossed out "can" and wrote "have" above it, crossed out the k in "make" and wrote a d above it, and added an exclamation point at the end, so it now says "You HAVE made a difference!" This is the greatest achievement I could ever imagine for myself, my greatest source of pride. That this woman – who was my soulmate, my protector, my teacher, my mentor and my grandma – believed I made a difference. That she was proud of me.
My imaginings lately have all been about her – imagining her flying, soaring, laughing, exploring and feeling peaceful. I like to imagine her keeping an eye on me, so I will continue to do my best to make her proud and honor her belief in me. These are the imaginings that are coarsing through me these days; this is the honey dripping through my veins, sweetening every moment.
Excellent. I love this style of collage.
first, i’ve been catching up on your blog, so condolences regarding your wonderful grandmother. second, i love your blog, love your work. and third, if i’m not being to forward, i’d just like to add to the discussion on grief. my stepdad died last year. he had been my stepdad for 40ish years (i’m 42!), so even though i had a “real” dad, this dad was very special to me and his death left me very shaken. it didn’t matter that i knew it was going to happen and that i was able to fly across half the country with a breastfeeding baby in time to see him for a few hours before he died. it was (and still is) painful.
i decided to go to a grief workshop a few months later. while the grief remains with me (although lessened), i had a bit of a revelation. it seems everytime someone in my life has died, i keep trying to get back to life as it was before the person passed. i wish i could explain this better — i knew i had to feel the grief, but i basically wanted to be the person i was before the death. in the workshop i realized that every loss changes me and i can never go back to being the same person. seems like this is sort of a “duh” moment, but that was a milestone for me.
you know that you will get through this loss. my advice is to not hold on too tightly to who you used to be. this change will change who you are. and you’ll be okay. i wish you all the best.
m
This is a great collage and tribute to such a great film! Well done.
First, love the collage…the colors, the sentiment.
Second, it is so good that you know how proud your grandmother was of you. Clearly, she “got you” in a way that was beautiful. I love the image of her flying, soaring, feeling peaceful.
Your collage is simply beautiful, so are your words. I can feel already how wonderful your grandma is. I haven’t had any relative who has even given me such encouragement and support. You are lucky to know someone so special.
When I as in my teens, I dreamt too venturing to Europe. I managed to visit London and Paris a bit later. But didn’t get to live there. However blessing in disguise, something else marvalous happened eventually.
So wonderful to be inspired by another artist. I think you have the flare for things creative and artistic. Keep imagining and creating. Let the positive spirit of your grandma be your guardian angel and inspires you.
I don’t think I have ever seen Rushmore, I am not nearly as film-literate as you are. But this has inspired me to watch it.
Isn’t it amazing when you look back at your life at what’s almost the half way point and to realise just how much of your dreams you have achieved, and even more so, what difference you have made in the world around you?
And you can change your grandmother’s note again and say: “I AM MAKING a difference”, because you are, even to non-artists like myself. I have found a lot of inspiration since I started reading your weblog earlier this year and continue to enjoy your musings and our cyber friendship
Great collage. And I absolutely love the last line of your post.
I like it so very much.
thank you for your grandmother stories. i really understand, as my grandmother is still with me everyday. i lve in her house, use her dishes and touch her doorknobs. i love her dearly, she was my champion, too. there is no other relationship like it, is there?! it was our miraculous good fortune to have such women in our lives!
I love the layers of this piece. You art work is wonderful you should post more of it here on your blog.
I like it!
)
beautiful swirly girl! again thank you for sharing your life. every time you share it touches my heart and inspires me and that makes a huge difference.
gorgeous, gorgeous collage. i love this!
What a powerful word: imagine. And if you forget to exercise it, somehow hope slips right away with it. Wonderful words and wonderful collage!