Comments on: Taking It In

By: muck

muck — Fri, 17 Feb 2006 22:46:43 +0000

thank you for writing this brilliant piece. i was actually thinking of my conversation with a dear friend earlier tonight and how amazing it was when i felt so much better afterward. i was heard out, word for word and i felt i could say anything that came to my mind without being judged for it. i had thought, how could i put this into words…then there’s your blog!
i absolutely agree with you about just being with it. i’ve learned in the long run that if i don’t, it will just haunt me forever.

By: pixie

pixie — Thu, 16 Feb 2006 10:39:06 +0000

you are so good at listening and being present. when i speak with you, i get this heavy sense that your world has stopped on the other end of the phone, i’ve got your full attention. how could you appreciate this in others if you weren’t so damn good at it yourself? when we do this for each other we are creating such good magic, strong steel bonds that inspire us and keep us in our most fierce fullness and integrity. you are my rock, sister.

By: liz elayne

liz elayne — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 23:26:45 +0000

yes. i have a tile created by the artist jill krasner that reads: she neither dried tears nor found solutions – she just listened.
now i have to admit to being okay with drying others’ tears, but i love the reminder to let people be, in their moment of happiness or grief…it is about them, and not about you. sometimes, we just want someone to listen.

By: cat

cat — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 20:11:42 +0000

I agree completely. In our society it’s all about “fix the problem, fix it, fix it, fix it.” Don’t “waste” time contemplating the issue, don’t allow yourself to just “be” in whatever emotions you’re feeling – no, it’s all about the quick fix. Whenever someone I care about is suffering, the first thing I tell them is: it’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling, for whatever duration of time *you* need to feel it. It’s so painful because just seeing *strangers* hurting makes my own heart ache, but with someone I know and love…it’s like being ripped to shreds. Still, the last thing a person in that situation needs is people telling them not to feel their emotions, to hurry up and get over it, etc. Very insightful post.

By: Teece

Teece — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 17:58:50 +0000

I’m glad i read this. I knew it before, but it’s a great reminder, since today i had a friend call to tell me of a great tragedy in his life. I know that later tonight, I may very well be called on to just hold the space in listen, and this post will be in my mind anytime I find myself reaching for my “Let me fix this” hat. Thanks.

By: Heather

Heather — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 13:58:41 +0000

Swirly,
I was trying to explain this exact thing to my boyfriend last night. I have just emailed to him your perfectly worded description. Thank so much for sharing these feelings with us.

By: Julie

Julie — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 13:16:16 +0000

Ah…if only I had read this yesterday! I put on my little fix it hat last night with my fiance. Instead of just listening, I asked him question after question, trying to help him get to the heart of his struggle…this is something I really need to work on.

By: la vie en rose

la vie en rose — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 11:51:30 +0000

you are so right. and the stumbling you do from time to time (the stumbling we all do) makes you more real. and real i can relate too. thank you for sharing your realness with us.
and is that not the cutest pic of 2 power goddess that i have ever seen?!?!?!

By: kat

kat — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 11:48:55 +0000

this is such a powerful lesson, to be able to just sit with someone else in pain.
i remember with the fiansor, i used to always want to “fix things” when he’d talk to me about problems he was having. one day he said, “i don’t really want advice. i just want to be heard.” it struck me like a ton of bricks. a big aha moment. and of course, once said, it all made perfect sense. since then i’ve become a much better listener. just sitting quietly and being there fully can be a huge help. it’s a gift you can give so easily. i’m glad you have people in your life you can do that with!!

By: teahouseblossom

teahouseblossom — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 11:12:28 +0000

Great post. I’ve definitely been on both sides of that situation. Needing a friend, and being a friend. Friends are great.