Gratitude and Overwhelm
March 13, 2006
Swirly & Ms. Superhero Andrea Scher.
My brain has been working overtime lately trying to coordinate, map out, plan and execute a myriad of to do lists and tasks. Whenever I have a spare moment I am visualizing when certain things will get done and what I need to do in order to accomplish those tasks, my main goal being to execute all of this with as much calm as possible. This past weekend marked the beginning of a stretch of time that is pretty well filled to the brim with THINGS TO DO, and things got off to an absolutely lovely start.
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Christine, Andrea & Swirly.
In a nutshell, my show was a wonderful success. There was a perfectly steady stream of people coming and going, so perfect that I am wondering if perhaps all of these friends called each other and decided ahead of time who would take what fifteen to thirty minute time slot. Friends like Andrea, who trekked all the way from San Francisco, and Christine, who made it to Venice from the other side of downtown LA despite having her own enormous to do list. Four friends from Santa Barbara and two friends from Santa Ynez. Friends who I had not seen in ages, but still said things like, "I wouldn’t have missed it for the world." Friends who understood the importance and significance of my very first show and who made the effort to do one simple thing for me: to show up. Between all of these smiling and supportive faces, all the well-wishing emails, blog comments and phone messages, and all of the red dots that are now next to pieces that sold, I am glowing with gratitude today. If this is a sign of things to come, I have no worries.
But I am exhausted, that is for certain.
I was supposed to hop in my car tomorrow and head to Frazier Park to see my darling Pixie, but I realized today that my body needs a rest. I would love nothing more than to be able to plug myself in and recharge my battery within minutes so I can spend time with her, but I know better than to push things right now. Over the next two months I need to make sure I am slightly fanatic about one thing in particular – my health. This will be the most important factor in whether or not I can plow through all of these things to do that are now arranging themselves in my brain.
There is so much in life – so many friends to see, places to explore, works of art to create, stories to write, pictures to take. I often feel like I am about to burst thinking of all the experiences I want to have and share while I am here, while I am ALIVE. It is a funny thing to think about – when I am an old woman, will I want to look back at my life and the world and feel like I did absolutely everything I ever wanted to do, or will I still be yearning for more? Do I ever want that satisfaction, or do I want my curiosity, passions and desires to be tugging at my heart until it stops beating? Will I expel my final breath with thoughts of a life perfectly fulfilled, or will it leave me with just one more wish in its vapor, to float into the world unrealized? Perhaps we all send certain longings away when we leave this world, filling the air with hopes and dreams that find their way into the hearts and minds of other kindred spirits. Perhaps over time – over lifetimes and generations – we all take care of a certain amount of unfinished business for those who lived before us, enabling these souls to finally rest peacefully, knowing their dreams were fulfilled.
"We live at the edge of the miraculous." -Henry Miller
Oh I really wish I could have been there but I’m glad so many others were. I never had a doubt that it would be a HUGE success! Congratulations! I’m sure there will be more to come….xoxoxo
Your after-glow is beautiful, Christine…
Congratulations!
Perhaps we all send certain longings away when we leave this world, filling the air with hopes and dreams that find their way into the hearts and minds of other kindred spirits. Perhaps over time – over lifetimes and generations – we all take care of a certain amount of unfinished business for those who lived before us, enabling these souls to finally rest peacefully, knowing their dreams were fulfilled.
What an amazingly beautiful thought~ I’m going to consider it the gospel truth.
And a huge hurrah for a wonderful and successful weekend!
i am filled with glee seeing those pictures of you and your chickies. such a big weekend for you and i thought about you the whole time and the opening.
holy yea! i am so glad it was what you wanted it to be!
Congratulations m’dear … for leaping in boldly and breathing in deeply and sharing your swirly fabulosity! xo d
congratulations!!! xo, mati
Congratulations! That is so awesome!!
oh swirly this is fantastic. you sound so excited and happy and certain of what you need to do to take care of yourself. this is good stuff my dear, good stuff.
everything about your journey is warming my heart to see it unfold.
and huge smiles for your red dots.
so, so good to see you and andrea!!
My eyes are like a mini oasis right now as I catch up on your posts of the past couple weeks. To see your dreams coming to a new type of fruition is so moving. You are a dizzy whirl of enormous inspiration to me as a writer, artist, and most importantly, as a friend. Congratulations on your exhibit. You are a huge blessing and deserve every morsel and huge iceberg of success this world has to offer.
Congrats, Swirly! 2006 seems like it’s going to be a life-altering, jump-in-with-both-feet-and-reap-the-rewards kind of year for you. Well deserved.
I’m so proud of you beautiful C!
So happy I could be there and celebrate
you. It was a JOY.
xoA
yeah!!! i’m so glad you hear that your show was a success. i never doubted it for a minute.
So incredibly, absolutely and completely THRILLED for you. Congratulations! This post did my heart a world of good.
so wonderful-what an amazing start you and your “girl” are off to! i love this entry, it has sparked many questions in me! xoxo
I’m so glad your show went well! Wish I could’ve come and seen it! Take care of yourself.
Congratulations on the success of your first show! The pieces you showcase here online were magnificent!
hi there – oh it is SO GOOD to read your words today. You have been writing from such a stressed, overwhelmed and tense place at times that it feels wonderful to read your words about supportive friends and red dots (I’m in love with an aritst – I really KNOW about RED DOTS!!!) and swirlings of excitement about your to-dos. I’m so happy for you that your show went so well, and I am so excited for you that you are excited about the future. Can’t WAIT to see what you come up with next!!
I’m so happy for you! Congrats on a successful show. Of course we all knew it would be
You last paragraph made me smile as I thought of a Kohler commercial about a dying old lady who realises, just before taking her last breath, that there was one wish unfulfilled when she sees a woman across the road take a bath in a Kohler tub!
I suspect that as we get older we do spend more time looking back at the things that we have done, or not. At a certain age we will no longer be part of the future, other than in the memory of those we loved who are left behind. Which is why I love your thought of any unfulfilled dreams and wishes releasing themselves into the universe to be inhaled by a kindred spirit.
Beautiful writing. Look after yourself and remember to breathe. I have a feeling that you will sail through the next few weeks; there might be a strong wind blowing but it’s behind you, pushing you ahead, and with you holding on tight it will guide you along the way.
Take care, Kerstin
Congratulations!
i just happened upon your site via Laini and Alexandra and i just love it. love your work and your flurry of love for life and it’s offerings. a breath of fresh air, and as fairly new artist, you have spoken the words and dreams inside of my heart. thank you!
Congrats
.