All I can say at this point is that life has a way of teaching me the lessons I need to learn in surprising yet very convincing ways.  Sometimes the lessons I think I am learning are really only springboards to the real marrow of the issue, and the thing I believe I must vehemently avoid is the only way through to the other side.  I think I am doing myself the best service by standing by a certain ethos but then for whatever reason I question that ethos and boom! – out comes an entirely different response than I’ve ever allowed myself and I feel exhilerated.  Joyful almost, despite the fact that this response has its roots in a tremendous amount of pain.  I literally find myself giggling over the fact that I’ve just switched tactics and, surprising to myself, this has brought on a tremendous sense of relief and, dare I say, pride.

I still believe in acceptance – this is not the tactic I’ve switched.  But I am now allowing a level of acceptance into my own heart for myself, particularly parts of myself that feel ugly, unattractive and undesireable and I have to say, it is blowing my mind.  My journey on this particular road is far from over, but I now walk with a more confident yet lighter step, head held high, sword at my side, ready to fight for what I believe in.

"It’s a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself."  -Lester Burnham, American Beauty