Until One is Committed
May 26, 2006
Girls in progress. Walking into my studio this morning and seeing this gave me a huge smile.
Until one is committed
there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back,
always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation),
there is one elementary truth,
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas
and splendid plans:
that the moment one definitely commits oneself,
then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one
that would never otherwise would have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one’s favor all manner
of unforseen incidents and meetings
and material assistance,
which no man could have dreamt
would come his way.
I have learned a deep respect
for one of Goethe’s couplets:
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, beging it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it."
-W. H. Murray
I had this taped to my closet door in our previous house for many months. When we moved I stuck this in a pile somewhere and recently came across it again. I decided to give it a permanent home in my journal and as I was glueing it in I read it again…a few times. It forced me to ask myself the obvious question: Am I truly committed to my life as an artist? I know I am in my heart, but ever since we began this wild ride in LA more than a year ago, my priorities have see-sawed dramatically between work and home. In other words, I have been called upon to give my full attention for big blocks of time to things of a more personal nature, which sometimes caused my creative work to come to a screeching halt. This in and of itself is not a problem; my partnership, our family and our home are my number one priorities in life, so I don’t bemoan the fact that sometimes this means my work has had to go on the back burner. I realize this will always be something I have to balance, but after reading the excerpt above I saw very clearly the need to keep my own life’s work in my sights at all times as well. Yes, life has a way of disrupting plans we make for ourselves, goals we set and to do lists we create, but lately I have fallen a little too far down the slippery slope of apathy. I think there has been a part of me that has felt fearful of getting too entwined in a vision for my work because I’m worried some other personal catastrophe or drama is going to prevent me from following through with what I say I am going to do.
I have dabbled here and there in my studio ever since we moved, done a good job of keeping up with my journal and sketching out ideas, but yesterday was the first day I really got going, and it was the best feeling to fall asleep last night thinking, "The week is not yet over – I have all day tomorrow to continue working on the new Girl pieces I started today!" It is time to up the ante on my commitment level with regard to my work, and to release at least a little bit of the responsibilities I’ve taken on in certain situations & relationships of a more personal nature. It is time to create more balance.
I will continue to write about personal experiences, questions and struggles in this journal – writing about them helps me work through and process them – but I am going to shift things a bit so that the journal has a stronger focus on art and the creative process. One of my deepest missions as an artist has always been to inspire others, and I realize that simply being honest and sharing my work is inspiring, but I want to take that a step further with this journal. I want to give readers more concrete ideas, questions, exercises, advice, information and other bits & pieces so that more people are encouraged to contribute to the collective creative well, so to speak.
Today I offer you a question – a question that is fluttering around in my head like a butterfly, exploring as much as it can – what are you committed to? Beyond that, is there something you want to make a commitment to but haven’t? Often times just saying something out loud is the first step towards making it real. What do you want to make REAL?
Beauty. Overwhelming, unequivocal, mindnumbingly stunning beauty. The kind that makes you go all tingly and silent. And by beauty, I mean a transcendent experience that goes beyond meer physical prettiness and the pleasure taken inn that.
That’s what it’s all about for me. And that’s what my work has been in search of since the beginning.
I so believe…
“that the moment one definitely commits oneself,
then Providence moves too.”
The Artist’s Way (book) really helped me discover my courage to move from ideas into action.
I think you are a great example of that Christine. (the move from ideas into action)
I love your work and you are truly an inpsiring person. I was wondering however, why when you paint “the girl” one eye is bigger than the other? Does that symbolize something to you?
Your creations are beautiful!
I’m committed to passion. To always honoring my passions and to helping others realize theirs.
I think I’m committed to commitments which, if I’m not careful, is going to get me committed.
I think I’m committed to commitments which, if I’m not careful, is going to get me committed.
Thank you so much for sharing, this is exactly the reminder I need – I have been letting personal pressures and worries swing me out of balance and neglect my commitment to my creativity. You are such a generous and beautiful spirit. Wishing you lost of creativity and joy.
yikes – thats LOTS of creativity and joy!
i’m excited about the transition!
i’m going to pull out my journal and record what comes to mind as i mull over your question…it’s a good one…
Wonderful post Swirly! I think that it is so easy to think we are committed to one thing sometimes when really we are deceiving ourselves. The last few months I’ve been so scattered and inconsistent, processing grief and wading through fears fragile and powerful. As I read this post, esp your last paragraphs, I felt that little inner kick that said,”Okay Alexandra, you’re not going to like your answer to Christine’s question,” but then getting real with where I am clears space to take new steps more consciously. Thank you! & seeing all your canvases altogether is so beautiful! Paint away!!!
I’m excited to read more about your creative journey, simply because your work inspires me. This post is synchronicity for me, because I’ve been struggling with committment, with taking myself seriously and giving myself what I need to move on with my writing. I know that I feel like because my work is still so unformed, how can I justify taking time away from my “real work” of being a mother and a wife? This is why I loved school–it gave me legitimacy to pursue what I loved while being able to shush those voices (outside and inside of me) that said “do something IMPORTANT.” by replying “School IS important.” But now I am not in school, and not working, and how to make it concrete and REAL? The blog is helping with that, but now I long to push myself back towards fiction, and I just don’t even what the process of doing that seriously looks like.
I am not committed to anything, but I want to be, so much! I want to fully commit to being a writer–not feeling guilty about spending money on it, or time, or space. I want to commit to living my life the way I know I need to live it–even if it looks wasteful or selfish or inconvenient. I want to commit to giving my daughter a positive role model of a woman who can be a great mother AND have a rich, fulfilling, creative, passionate, bold life.
Like I said, this post brought up so much inside of me. I need to process it (and not on your blog! Sorry about the longwinded comments).
I had that quote on the wall above my desk in my apartment in Marin County, right about the time I got my first job in TV (more than 20 years ago). It was the first time I felt really committed to wanting something. That quote and Barbara Sher’s “Wishcraft” book were the first beacons of passion in my life…to even remotely begin to understand that a life could be CREATED. (Because circumstances up until then hadn’t been easy…and I’d felt at the effect of them.) What I’ve learned in my first half century is this: we must stay open to opportunities the universe has in store for us…because often they’re unexpected…and we can be looking over HERE thinking that’s what we’re really committed to…while simultaneously doing something over THERE…but thinking that’s not where our passion lies. And then one day our heart knocks and says, “Hello?? Are you paying attention?”…and we realize that that side thing over there has been feeding our passion and we hadn’t even realized it. It’s happened to me time and time again. So with this very long-winded response, I answer your question and say: yes, I’m committed…even when it takes the courage to acknowledge that it (passion) blindsided me yet again.
Wonderful posts,, something I continue to explore… The blog is over 3 years old now… What is new? Please tell