I’ll Stop the World and Melt With You
August 16, 2006
Wild & crazy in the 80s…that’s me second from the right.
Although I have a few weeks left on my blog hiatus, I could not resist sharing a few thoughts after my 20 year high school reunion, which I attended this past weekend in Alexandria, VA. High school reunions are the kind of events that inspire everyone to look back at where they’ve been and ponder where they might go from here, and my brain has been working overtime trying to remember what exactly I imagined my future might be when I was a teenager driving around in my silver VW with Madonna’s "Holiday" blaring in my stereo. Did my life turn out the way I wanted it to? Did my dreams come true?
The weekend was too short and packed with activities to be able to delve too deeply into anyone’s life journeys from the graduation stage at Edison high school in 1986 to right now, and I found myself longing for more quiet time with so many people when it was all over and I was back on a plane to Los Angeles. This was a group of people I spent at least five days a week with for more than four years, and once we had our diplomas in hand everyone scattered to various jobs, places, relationships and experiences. No matter where we have all been in this world or where we will go from here, we will always be linked to one another whether we like it or not. In small ways and large, we helped shape the kind of adults we became. We were each other’s influences during the years our personalities, passions and beliefs were being shaped and sculpted. How different would everyone’s lives have been if, say, just one person from our class were plucked out of time and into an entirely different school where none of would have known him or her?
I left the east coast filled with so many questions about everyone I saw. Who among us has ridden a camel or gone skydiving? Will anyone there find a cure for cancer? Was there anyone who did not have a sad story to tell? Did most people’s lives make sense to them? Were they where they thought they would be? Wanted to be? Hoped to be? Who still had their greatest dreams to conquer, their highest mountains to climb? I would have loved to have had more time to explore some of these quieter, deeper questions with so many people. In a way the event was like a strange zoo, where we were all on display for each other yet all outside observers at the same time. If we were all peacocks, feathers would have been proudly displayed all weekend. Photographs were shared, victories were announced and triumphs were proclaimed.
Any why not? This weekend was a time for each of us to enjoy tiny spotlights with every familiar face, for with every new hello and happy-to-see-you hug, all each person wanted to do was know about the other. All around the room there was so much willingness to share and express our very best selves. What more would we have learned about one another if we had been able to go to everyone’s house and see the books on their shelves, the artwork on their walls and the photographs on their mantle? What has each of us done with, as Mary Oliver says, "our one wild and precious life?" in the details of each day, each moment?
At one point a friend asked me what I do for fun, and I had a really hard time answering the question, which surprised me. It took a few days of pondering the difficulty in forming a coherent response but then it dawned on me – I don’t look at my life as blocks of "fun", "not fun", "work", "play", etc. I simply live my life as best as I can each day, and try to find the "fun" – which can also be labeled "positive", "good", etc. – in every situation. What do I do for fun? I create. I cry. I go grocery shopping. I gripe at rude drivers on the streets of LA. I ride my bike. I write. I listen to my love play his violin, as he is doing right now. I laugh at inappropriate moments and get cranky when I haven’t had enough to eat. I drink a cafe au lait every morning. I sit still. I travel. I get up each day and say thank you. I try, and sometimes I fail.
Did my life turn out the way I wanted it to? Did my dreams come true?
How can I answer such questions with any finite-ness when I’m still in the midst of my journey? How do you freeze a butterfly in mid-flight?
"Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations." -George Bernard Shaw
welcome back girlie!
we missed you!
btw…i dig that song!
k
What a great post. I love the idea the fun is everywhere all the time.
WOW, That was really great writing. Makes us think about a lot of different events that have happened. Thanks for sharing.
The only thing better than a swirly comment? A swirly post.
My high school reunion is coming up this fall (if it’s still within the year it counts, right?). I’ve kept in touch with absolutely no one from then. Should be wierd. . .
I missed my 10 year reunion because I was out of state and had to work. I want to go to my 20 year…I think it would be fun to see everyone and catch up. I got to see a glimpse of what that will be like through your post. thanks. You made me smile:)!
I love you sho… You rock… Had a great time with you. Can’t wait to see you again.. Don’t shoot shoot shoot that thing at ME….
Yo Swirly. It was great seeing you. I felt this weird sense of joy being around friends I’ve had since kindergarten. It was as if I were 38 looking back on 6 year olds and I kept thinking to myself: these are such intelligent, funny, kind-hearted, sweet kids – how fortunate I was to have grown up with them. It’s not a given that you get to hang out with future doctors, lawyers, artists, engineers and BBQ magnates!
Anyway, giving you a big virtual hug from Boston. I’ll ping you when Otrib goes live.
Wassup Chris? Well, once again I have missed another reunion due to technincal difficulties. Anyway, how are you? We are still in Sactown. You don’t age at all! Hope we can get together in the near future. Are you still in Cali? Please feel free to contact anytime.
I just found your blog. Your work is amazing. Thanks for the inspiration!
I wish that I’d been able to talk to more people and/or get more than just the headlines in everyone’s life stories. I found myself a little depressed on Sunday and feeling as dorky/awkward as I had back in HS. This makes me realize that I’m not as lost or random as I thought! Thanks for putting my feelings into words.
You really did an awesome job ptting into words how I felt..and I felt a lot like Margaret when I went home, I had the PRB (post reunion blues) I thought a lot about how everyone did shape who I am today and I made it a prayer for my children..that they too would have a crew of friends that would laugh, support and love them like I had! Thanks to all of the class of 86 You are loved and treasured in my heart! ( Chris did this sound like the ramblings of a drunk hahah)
Heather Weaver
Swirly!
As I was opening your blog this morning I kept saying “I hope she’s posted..I hope she’s posted”! What a wonderful treat to have one of your entries to start my Friday. My brother was just telling me he might not attend any reunions until the 40th (in 2036). I keep in touch with my two best girlfriends from highschool but everyone else has slipped out of my conscious memory. With the exception…of Ben…who I had a crush on for 9 years and would still make my heart skip a beat if I saw him today.
Enjoy the rest of your blog break!
Well said! I am always amazed at how some people write so beautifully and eloquently. You have a gift in this area. One observation I made is that although we have encountered many decisions over the past 20 years, and our paths have taken us in many directions, each person’s personality had changed little or none. Deep inside, we were the same person, with the same morals, views, and biases. Not that this is a good or bad thing, just an observation. And it seemed like our initial conversations with each other had not skipped a beat from High School. Case in point, you and Carrie laughing at silly jokes and comments right off the bat, just like the old days. And what confirmed this observation was that I took a training class yesterday at work on diversity (one of those soft skill classes), and it was noted that by between 10 and 21 years old, our personalities are set for life, unless there is a dramatic life changing event to alter it. Something to ponder…
I’m so glad you had a wonderful time at your reunion. I never attended any of my reunions…now I kind of wish I had. Guess I’ll have to wait for the 30th!
Hey chick!! Wow, your words are awesome, you are a great writer!! I love how you summed it all up, it was a fantastic weekend. I loved seeing you and wish we had more time to talk in depth. You looked fabulous!
Wow! You have expressed your’s and I am sure everyone’s thoughts and feelings so beautifully. It made me think about the past, present and future and brought a smile to my face. Well written Chris!
Oh Christine–That was beautiful–I’m so proud of you–you are awesome!! I wish so much that I could have been able to share the good times and see you and everyone–hopefully next time. I made the 80′s cd and put the Modonna track with you in mind–you know I was more a Michael/Janet Jackson fan in those days–You were always an original!!
XOXO
Chrissy
I really enjoyed your piece – it was like having my fragmented thoughts put to words by someone with a true gift.
I remember that song, it was one of my favorites! Glad you enjoyed the class reunion, my 20th is coming up in two years, but I probably won’t go. My high school days were not the best time of my life. Continue to enjoy the journey.
Hi Chris,
Your words are so touching and I feel so fortunate that I am able to call the class of Thomas Edison 86′, my class. YOU ROCK GIRL!!!!!
Love ya,
Marita
“No difference in the past, non-attachment the future, do not play on the now. Anju now, and happy to live the moment”, which Buddhist Feeling deep sentence, which fell heart, the mind immediately let me have far-reaching everywhere cool.