The luckiest Swirly Girl ever on a pre-wedding girl’s night out.

How divine is one’s inner garden when full of twisted and tangled vines sprouting blossoms of all colors, shapes and sizes; vines that have grown so intricately through and around each other, with roots that run so deep and densely packed that it is impossible to discern where one ends and the other begins…I speak of friendship, particularly the friendships I share with my girlfriends.  So much has been said of the powerful connections between women throughout history – how can I possibly add anything new?  But I feel I must try, for the women in my life have made me who I am, and it is the women in my life who I count more than anyone on to help me get through the day to day of whatever life decides to throw my way.

It is not that I do not rely on my husband or that my friendships take anything away from my marriage.  It is more that without one, the other suffers greatly, and without both in my life, I would be woefully out of balance.  If my husband is my heart and the largest recepient of my energies, attention, devotion, passion and commitment, then my girlfriends are the veins, pumping this energy throughout all areas of my life and keeping me alive.  I think my husband ought to write individual thank you notes to all of my female tribe members, for without them he would have a much harder time with me.

I can look at the women in my life and see how they have made me a better person in very specific ways, how – just by being their fabulous selves – they inspired me to take bolder leaps, try more daring feats and laugh that much louder along the way.  After living on this earth for more than three decades in 33 different homes that span the country, I have created a circle of friends that, despite being scattered here and there, is a circle I know I can count on unequivocally.  There are certain women I look at and know without one shred of doubt in my heart that they will be in my life until I am no more, and they are the ones who will carry me through my greatest sorrows and most spectacular triumphs by doing one small yet profound thing:  being there.  Being present.  Sitting still with my pain.  Holding a sacred space for my victories.  Allowing a quiet moment to exist when the world around us is in hysterics.  Letting me gripe unedited, whine like a brat and boast like a wild egomaniac, all the while accepting me as I am while at the same time encouarging me to be a better person. 

I need my girlfriends like I need to breathe – it is something I cannot imagine my life being without.  My marriage thrives when I feel the strength of my female tribe behind me and I trust everything and everyone more easily when I look at my circle of friends.  What could possibly go wrong in life when I have these beauties supporting me?  How bad can things be when these women – who could choose to rely on anyone in the world to support them – choose to rely on me?  A burden I happily accept…a burden that is not at all a burden, but the sweetest of all responsibilities.  To return the favor of a deep and luscious friendship – to give back what I have received.