Another page from my recent book proposal; the coloring book image is from a coloring book from the 1940s I bought in an antique store near Raleigh, NC.

As is true with any moving endeavor, things are not going as planned and I have existed in a state of in-between-two-houses limbo far longer than I thought I would.  Our current phone line has already been disconnected, but the phone lines at the new house have yet to be set up (new construction = having to figure out all the wires & phone jacks), my computer is already at the new house because I thought we’d have internet access by now, but no such luck, so I have to steal my husband’s laptop whenever possible to check emails on the fly.  This morning is the first morning since my last entry that I have had time to sit down alone in my kitchen and read the lovely thoughts everyone left on my previous entry.  Each day I’m out of bed by 6:00am and I don’t stop moving until I collapse back in bed each night.  It is during times like this that I realize why I am so persnickity when it comes to my calendar.  The more it is packed with commitments, plans and to do lists, the more stressed out I get; a life of constant movement and daily itineraries is not for me.

I have experienced something quite interesting as the pace of my days increased the last couple of weeks, which is a slipping backward into old habits that, if left unchecked, have a way of sending me into a worried frenzy.  I had lunch with a dear friend in Santa Barbara yesterday and, as always, we ended up in a philosophical discussion about the intricacies and layers of life.  During this talk we touched upon an idea that I think exactly pinpoints why old, unhealthy patterns have found their way back into my consciousness as of late.  Ever since I hugged my friend good-bye yesterday (after realizing I locked my keys in my car) I have felt lighter and softer, having discovered over the course of a simple lunch date what was going on.

The idea is basically this:  the busier we get, the more distracted we get, the more noise we have in our minds and lives, the easier it is to lose our connection to the deeper peace of the universe, which is available for us at us at any time.  I wrote recently of a new opening within my heart, which I cannot describe as anything other than an undeniable realization that God is with me all the time.  This opening created a deep settling and release of unneccesary fears and worries and that peaceful energy stayed with me for quite a while.  As my days got busier and busier, however, I was pulled farther and farther away from that quiet space and all kinds of anxieties started to flood my brain, almost as if this negative energy/entity was waiting quietly for the opportunity to silently take over.  Sounds sinister, I know, but perhaps that is the way I need to look at it – it is sinister, and it is my job to make sure I protect that quiet space that I know is available to me.  That "room" I recently discovered has always been there and will always be there, and I cannot let all of this other noise pull me out of it and away from it; I have to do whatever I can do to keep it close at hand.

In my last entry I wrote of the lessons that can be gleaned from painful losses and difficult experiences, but there are also beautiful gems waiting for us in the most mundane of chapters, such as moving.  I actually giggle at the challenge of discovering wisdom in something like moving.  I mean really, who ever likes to move?  The reaction is always the same when I say I am in the midst of moving – groans, sighs, "ewwww…", rolls of the eyes.  It is the universal word for "pain in the ass"; it is not something I think many people would consider fun.  But it is always, on some level or another, a new chapter, and with any new chapter there is room for thoughtful consideration, a looking forward and a looking backward.  We have not even officially moved yet, but already I’ve learned a lesson that I know will stay with me, this awareness that, as life gets busier and busier, it is imperative I don’t get too caught up in it all.  The more every detail in my life becomes IMPORTANT and URGENT, the farther away I am pulled from that cozy space in my heart where God is, and that is not a place I ever want to venture too far from again.  Ever.

I appreciate everyone’s stories and comments from my last entry, and I love the request from this fellow blogger to tell one of my own stories.  I know I have shared quite a few here, and I’ll share more, but for now I am going to make my breakfast and then begin another day, a day that won’t entail anything more adventurous than moving a few more boxes, running a few errands and admiring the bright blue sky every step of the way.