Taken in Joshua Tree, September 2002.

Eighteen years ago my best friend’s brother was in a car accident.  After almost a week in a coma, he quietly passed away just weeks before his high school graduation.  My friend Melissa has learned a great deal from this experience, including the fact that resources for surviving siblings are few and far between.  An excerpt from one of her recent journal entries explains it best:

"One of things that has stuck with me all of these years is the amount of support that is out there for parents who have lost children, spouses who have lost spouses, and children who have lost parents.  There really wasn’t much out there for siblings who’ve lost siblings.  I attended meetings with my mother for Compassionate Friends but that was mostly for parents.  We would have breakout groups for siblings and they gave us this little pamphlet on sibling grief.  I had a hard time finding anything else out there.

Recently with the tragedy at Va Tech and with John being gone as long as he was here, I’ve thought about how I can help somehow.  Instead of just writing my story and how I dealt with my grief, I’ve thought maybe I can compile stories of others who have lost a brother or sister, at any age.  While John died at the young age of 18, I don’t think I would have dealt with the loss any different had he died at an older age.  I don’t know though and never will.  Grief is such an individual thing and society tries to put it in nice little buckets….sadness, anger, denial and all the rest.  I’m curious how ‘real people’ have dealt with their loss."  [Click here to read entire entry.]

If you have lost a sibling and would be willing to share your experience, Melissa is seeking stories and would love to hear from you.  Email her at mpiccola27@gmail.com, and please share this link with anyone who might be interested.