My husband – whose let me highjack his birthday Friday for my birthday party – with Melissa, Blair & me before the festivities began.

I keep a very organized, color-coded iCal on my computer.  Green for work appointments, organge for social plans, gold for travel, pink for birthdays, etc.  The past month shows more orange type than anything, and I am about ready to order new business cards that say "Bed and Breakfast Proprieter" instead of "Artist".  Our house has been a whirlwind of fun, fun and more fun, and I am savoring today – a day clear of obligations until dinner – so that I can get things back in order before the next round of guests arrive in two days.  I would like to say things will start to slow down now, but we are actually smack in the middle of the plethora of parties, guests and other events that have been on our calendar since this summer.

More than getting the house back in shape, however, I am thankful for a quiet day so I can reflect on everything that has transpired under this roof since mid-October.  Honestly, I don’t think one day is sufficient enough to deeply examine the impact of so many beautiful moments and experiences, but I am thankful for this tiny window of silence when I can savor these memories as I fold laundry, change sheets and empty the trash.

I turned 40 yesterday, and I feel as if I have been thrown joyously up into the sky by an amazing community of friends and family to soar higher than I have ever been.  You know those scenes in the beach movies from the 60s where a bikini-clad babe is being tossed up from a sheet by a bevy of hunky boys?  That is what the past month has felt like, only the sheet has been held by powerful women, lifelong friends, faraway soulmates and yes, hunky boys too.  There have been a few moments where I was bounced the wrong way and landed hard on the ground, but despite a few tough knocks I was never left to recover alone.  The power of all the love and support I have received through every single moment has far outweighed any discontent, melancholy or sadness, and in many ways I feel like I was saved over these past few weeks.  Saved from a fear I’ve carried with me for far too long that I will end up alone, saved from the anxiety that if I don’t do enough, give enough or share enough some form of catastrophe will strike and I will be abandoned and left to fend for myself.

Between a weekend of wildfires and fierce, soul-full connections with these three beauties, meeting another extraordinary human being who my husband has known for more than 25 years, participating in the Breast Cancer 3-Day, and then having a wild, dance-filled birthday celebration with friends who came from Washington, DC, Raleigh, Santa Barbara and all over Los Angeles, I have been shown again and again that I need never fear I will be without love in my life.  This is a fear I can safely pack up and ship off to Never-Never Land,  and I must say it is a profound relief to know I can release this negativity with confidence.

Last spring I had a short period of freaking out about my impending 40th birthday, but it dissipated quickly.  Since then the strongest emotion I have felt about this milestone is gratitude.  Life is full of many perils that end lives far too soon, and I feel incredibly fortunate to have made it to my fourth decade.  It is a strange experience to think about the fact that, statistically speaking, I’m about halfway through this journey.  I have a respectful awareness of the limitations of my physical self, an awareness that it will only last so much longer before another journey can begin.  The beauty of this next chapter is that I am living more fully and snugly in my own skin than ever before, and thankfully I have a catalog of lessons learned to guide me through whatever goals, dreams, challenges and endeavors await me.

This past month, I believe I may have learned the most important lesson of all – that it doesn’t matter how much art I sell, how much money I make, what galleries I’m in or how "successful" my business is.  These things might inspire people, but they aren’t that thing that makes anyone around me feel that own glimmer of passion in their own hearts.   I believe the most inspiring thing any of us can do is to live authentic lives and be fully present in each moment, to be true to our selves and appreciate the perfection in every imperfect experience.  We are all making our way through a complicated world that is filled with distractions, heartaches, and complications.  We all have sad stories to tell.  We all have unfulfilled dreams.  Some of us have had broken bones and most of us have had our share of broken hearts.  We are all on a quest for meaning, trekking through our own internal jungles to find the answers we seek.  The more we follow our own intuition and deep voice of wisdom, the more our souls shine, creating points of light that makes it easier for anyone around us to find their own true path.

We can shine our lights in so many ways, large and small.  By creating a cozy sancutary in our home for faraway guests.  By writing a meaningful blog entry.  By creating a work of art, writing a poem or dancing like a lunatic on YouTube.  By crying when we need to.  By laughing unabashadly.  By saying no.  By saying yes.  By saying I love you.  By making mistakes and being grumpy.  It all creates light, and the world needs as much light as possible.  Light from me.  Light from you.  Light from every smile, every kind word, every daring leap.