I have tried three times now to include a photo with today’s entry, but for some reason the blog gods aren’t interested in any visual cues today, so onward I write…just me and a string of letters.

My brain is in full-on perfection mode, formatting all of my completed book pages for the printer.  Today I managed to get through the formatting of all pages finished and edited thus far (106 total), so tomorrow I will begin reviewing what other pages are still in progress and what pages need to be created from scratch.  The book will be 160 pages total, so I have my work cut out for me, not to mention putting all of the pages in order and then printing everything out again for the printer. 

This week will be the opposite end of the spectrum of last week, when LA Fantastic took over and most of my energies were focused on the fact that I had a house full of my best girlfriends.  I got a good bit of work done despite all of the fun and frolic, but let’s face it, when my tribe is nearby, my ability to focus on work can only go so far.  Today I was glued to my computer in a silent house all day and it will be like this for the next three weeks.  Saying no is now my mantra and huge stretches of quiet now occupy my days.

While this goal of creating as perfect a book as possible is a good one – cleaning up every typo, making sure the colors are correct, specifying precise sizes and formats – I realized over the past couple of days I need to be careful to keep that whole perfection thing in check in other areas of my life.  In wanting everything to be just so with this book, I find myself walking around feeling like I need to have every other detail of my life in perfect order as well, and guilt has been creeping in my brain in the strangest of ways.

I have made it abundantly clear to my husband and a few other close friends that these next three weeks are hammer time, that I need to be more focused than ever with as few distractions as possible.  Thinking about this today within the context of these simmering guilty feelings, I believe this may have something to do with being timid about taking time exclusively for myself.  I am so used to taking care of so many people, our home, etc. – responsibilities that give me tremendous joy, by the way – that the notion of needing to say no, no and then no again is not a very comfortable one.

In all of these musings I have to laugh.  Last week when two of my best mates got a sneak preview of my book, they both commented on how many times I used the words "perfect" or "perfection" (as in, let it go).  I had not even noticed this in my own writings, but ever since my friends shined a light on this recurring theme, I see very clearly how struggling with perfection is sometimes a tough mountain to climb.

So I shall post this blog entry – sans photo – trusting all will contniue to function properly in the world.  And then tomorrow, maybe, just maybe, I won’t make the bed.