This past Friday was the end of a very intense week of being locked in my studio to finish my book. I ended the day with just one more piece of writing left to create pages for, and planned on getting those wrapped up over the weekend so I could start today with one phase of the book finished, another one ready to go. I slept in Saturday and slowly made my way to my studio. As I was walking towards the door of my studio I was thinking, “I’ll finish the pages of the book today,” and then the very instant I walked through the door I immediately – without any thought or hesitation whatsoever – began cleaning my studio top to bottom. I did not stand in the room thinking, “Maybe I’ll clean the studio instead,” or “I’m not sure I’m in the mood to create pages today.” There was no stopping and thinking about anything; it was some kind of weird urgency that took over my brain and sent me in an entirely different direction than I thought I’d be heading mere seconds earlier.

As I was dusting my printers (yes, my printers – even they were filthy) it slowly dawned on me: perhaps it wasn’t an OCD moment, but an instance of not wanting this part of the book process to be over just yet. Once I say the pages are finished they’re finished. I won’t have any time or opportunities to add or change pages once they’re off to the printer without considerable expense, so this is it. Time is of the essence, and when I say I’m finished I need to be finished.

I am not an artist that has a difficult time knowing when one of my creations is complete. Instead, what I go through is a period of not wanting that particular creative experience to be over. Not with every single piece, but with the ones that have greater significance for one reason or another, such as a large commission I finished a few weeks ago. I also resisted finishing that one, knowing I would miss working on it and seeing it in my studio.

I have been working on this book on and off for more than a year now, and today – as it definitely needs to be today – the pages will be finished. From there I will put the pages of the book in order, and after that prepare all the files for the printer. And then it will be off, and in two months’ time I’ll have the books in my hands with a lot of other small steps in between.

So this morning I’ve worked on Sparkletopia, written this blog entry and I’ll put off the inevitable a tiny bit longer by paying some bills. By the end of this day, the pages will be finished…and I’ll say good-bye to this lovely chapter of an extraordinary journey, then say hello to the next magical phase.