Leaning Into the Cracks
October 20, 2008If you wake up
And the day feels
Ah broken
Just lean into the crack
(Just lean into the crack)
And it will tremble
Ever so nicely
Notice
How it sparkles
Down there
I can decide
What I give
But it’s not up to me
What I get given
Unthinkable surprises
About to happen
But what they are
-Bjork, “It’s Not Up To You”
This is where I’ve been lately – leaning deeply into the cracks, letting myself feel what I need to feel about things that have caught me off guard, overwhelmed and exhausted me, made me feel small and tossed aside. I have felt strangely quiet, unusually private, not wanting to share too many details of anything good, bad or otherwise. I feel certain circumstances of my life shifting, dissolving and tumbling in new, unexpected directions; I realize I have been expending a great deal of energy trying to rationalize a slew of feelings that cut to my core.
This is all OK. In this pull towards a quieter existence, in those cracks, there are many gifts. It still feels a bit too murky to express anything with much clarity, so I am trying to allow the fog to roll in as thickly as it would like, to let it obscure the answers I seek, to trust that they are out there, that I will find them, that they are waiting for me.
I have been thinking a lot about the word transcendence, about all the ways we can stay centered in our own integrity and belief system when the world around us feels like it is going haywire for reasons we cannot comprehend. I suppose that is what those ordinary sparkling moments I speak about in my book really are – experiences of transcendence, of moving “beyond or above the range of normal or merely physical human experience”. I am dealing with very human emotions, experiences, joys and disappointments, but within those seemingly pedestrian episodes I know there are portals to all that is good in the world – to compassion, to courage, to beauty. They exist in the darkness, in the accidents, in the cracks.
Christine, be still within that fog as it envelopes you. It is so important to feel the feelings, to feel the experience of life as it washes over us…and thank you for quoting Bjork today — I so needed to read those words.
YES.
At the bottom of all cracks, Lit Woman, is the love of that which made you. Your soul is exhuming more love for itself.
Carry on. You’re doing nicely.
you are truly beautiful
and truly loved
{{{hugs}}}
Was thinking of sending you a little Winni-the-pooh torch to lit the way through the cracks…suddenly I remembered YOU.ARE.THE.LIGHT…so noooowwwww I’ll just send you hugs. xx
dearest Christine,
thank you for this perfection. for sharing what you shared, offering what you offered. it speaks so much to own journey in this place/at this time. i’ve been holding many (open) questions, one of them is: what do i lean on/towards when i am sad, overwhelmed, heart*achy, confused…i love this idea/image of leaning into the cracks. thank you for this wisdom. wishing you grace as you journey.
warmly,
gem
Put so perfectly…
Sweet, Sweet Christine,
Thank you for igniting an inner torch that has stay with me since Squam. Your poignant and affective book Ordinary Sparkling Moments (OSM) has awoken the authentic voice within. For so very long I have lived my life to appease others’ expectations and society. I’m still discovering my authentic interior but I’m no longer suppressing that which is so vital to my emotional interior. I’m learning who I am and I have you to thank.
Much love, Trish
patriciadolan@comcast.net
i am here… and i love you x
I AM the crack!
I am one with the crack—
odd note? crack in Ireland = good, crack in US = bad Whitney Houston moment
YOU are a light in my life— I’ll bring some caulk with me in december . . .
BISOUS
I’m finally learning that these cracks have so much learning potential, and aren’t as scary as they seem. There is the other side, and you will come to it. But it’s good to go into the crack and see why it’s there, and what’s really causing it and maybe even heal it if that’s what’s needed.
Good Journeying!
oh chrisitine,
thank you.
SO very much.
for this.
in love and light,
xoxoxo
christine, christine, christine.
just practicing so i don’t spell it wrong again
xo
I’m printing this post out. I need more time to read and comprehend. I will fold it neatly and tuck it between the pages of Sparkling Moments.
I received my book two days ago. I’ve already read every word, scribbled in the spaces and doodled in between. I love the book, thank you. I am only sorry I didn’t get it months ago.
xoxo
isn’t it nice to have a treehouse, of sorts – the fog…the crack…to be able to step aside, just a bit…just for a time, and look at things from a different perspective…or the SAME perspective, but without the chaos & jostle…there seems to be a lot of that going around…you are most wonderful…linda e
What an important message. I think you have a good “niche” in the “blogosphere” which is just being yourself!! xoxo