Unlearning
September 24, 2009
It is now Day Three of my re-entry back into my "normal" life Post-Squam, and I am still getting things back in order, unpacking, doing laundry, downloading photos, etc. The week has felt easy and slow, with naps and movies on the couch, a feat that doesn't come easily to me no matter how tired I am. My tendency is always to push farther, to say to myself, "I'll just do this one more thing and then I'll take a break," only to find a handful of other "one more things" waiting in the wings for my attention. Like those annoying drivers who cut in line when lanes merge, these little tasks usually push themselves forward and win out, causing the time I thought I'd have on the couch with my magazine or crossword puzzle to evaporate without my realizing it.
But this week I am committed to shifting this intensity down a notch. The summer was an exercise in movement and discipline, when I got so much done in three months I felt slightly inhuman. I became one of those people who was "super super busy", which isn't a crime against humanity, but isn't who I want to be on a full-time basis. So this week is my week to set a different intention, and to let the mile long list of ideas and inspirations in my head do something I don't usually let them do: Sit there. And do nothing.
At least for a little while.
I woke up this morning when it was still dark, and when I looked at the clock it said 5:48am. My first thought was, "Great! I'll get a head start on the day!" but then remembered my intention and crawled back into bed. These are the kind of moments I am having this week, where I am consciously pulling away from the mindset I was in until the morning I left for Squam. I am trying to unlearn the habits that ruled my life from June to September, reminding myself over and over again that I don't have to get everything done today, and if some of my ideas remain ideas and nothing more the world won't collapse. My intention is to create a softer flow in my life – to find the gentlest current, slip in quietly, and let it carry me like a leaf beneath the trees of Big Sur.
“You and I can turn and look
at the silent river and wait. We know
the current is there, hidden; and there
are comings and goings from miles away
that hold the stillness exactly before us.
What the river says, that is what I say.”
~William Stafford
{For more musings on this subject, visit my latest post over at In the Wish Studio!}
These are good things to unlearn…to de-programme from auto pilot on over drive to taking life in the slow lane!
mmmm mmmm good… love your mindset
Beautiful poem – brilliant intention. May you find that deep river rhythm.
PS: I have a lot of problems posting comments here. I usually have to try 4-5 times before it gets through and I don’t have that problem elsewhere. Anyone else have this problem at Swirly’s place?
when you start to go back to that ‘get it done now’ mode just think…WWMD? hee, hee
“…create a softer flow in my life…”
These words bring me warmth and peace. Thank you. Enjoy your unlearning.
what a fabulous intention to hold with consciousness. & such a great reminder for me to hear right now…as I do, do, do (and stay up late, late, late) to get our house on the market. Last night, we stayed at a nearby hotel with a waterpark and played as a family for a few hours. Best thing I’ve done all week.
Thanks for the inspiration!
Big hugs,
Shannon
P.S. Love, love, love the Stafford quote!
wonderful intention
it will be the perfect trade – a little of my “can hang doing nothing” for your “one more thing”
could you do me a “favor” – send that energy of
doing and getting one more thing over to me and then we will have a good balance between the two of us
yea baby that will work
x0x0x0xx0
funny how slowing down can sometimes be the hardest thing…well done Swirly!!! be good to yourself…
I think my unlearning is opposit to you, I sholuld learn just to DO !
I can so relate to your natural tendency to go go go go go go go go….crash. I used to joke about the “one more row” syndrome when I was knitting. Just one more row. Just one more row. I’d repeat this in my head until I’d have to peel my fingers off the needles. I soon found that I wasn’t alone, and that this way of thinking didn’t just relate to knitting!
I am in a place in my life where I am practicing S L O W I N G down. It’s hard. It’s GOOD. It’s interesting. It’s exciting.
The Squam Retreat is absolutely inspirational. Thanks for sharing. I can’t wait to look into it further.
Also, in yoga we practice a “beginner’s mind”. That is just like “unlearning”. I try to practice this regularly – so I can step out of what I “think I know” and step into the place where I feel vulnerable – the not knowing. ‘Cause it’s in this uncertainty that I KNOW I need to be in to grow. And it’s in a beginner’s mind, like a newborn baby, where we look at things afresh, and we think a new thought, and we see the beauty in the simple things.
So today I’ll practice grow grow grow rather than go go go.