Why Not?
{Photo by Anne Carmack}
Your Seed Pouch
Lanterns
Hang from the night sky
So that your eye might draw
One more image of love upon your silk canvas
Before sleep.
Words from Him have reached you
And tilled a golden field inside.
When all your desires are distilled
You will cast just two votes:
To love more,
And be happy.
Take the sounds from the mouth-flute of Hafiz
And mix them into your seed pouch.
And when the Moon says,
“It is time to
Plant,”
Why not dance,
Dance and
Sing?
~ Hafiz
Five Things
1. Registration is OPEN for the next WishBIG gathering in the Wish Studio!
2. Ditto for Susannah Conway’s next Unravelling course!
3. Check out Our Blessings ~ Our Stories with Jennifer McCullough.
4. I love Manjari Sharma’s work, and I love her Kickstarter project.
5. See what Marlene White is up to in her recently opened Etsy shop!
What is the Root?
What
Is the
Root of all these
Words?
One thing: love.
But a love so deep and sweet
It needed to express itself
With scents, sounds, and colors
That never before
Existed.
~Hafiz
Bandying About
{Taken in Yosemite last year.}
It’s a whirlwind weekend coming up, so I’ll be back on Monday. In the meantime, my latest feature for On Writing is up in the Wish Studio, as well as musings on time travel over at Gypsy Girl’s Guide. Have a great weekend!
The Practice
I have lately been having a tough time knowing what to write each time I sit down to a new blank page of this blog. Maybe it is because most of the change and uncertainty and challenge and contentment has been churning deep in my personal life as opposed to out in the world of my professional life. I am not, at the moment, working on a new series of art, an upcoming show, or a book proposal. Most of the seeds being planted right now are for projects that won’t see the light of day until 2012. The bulk of my time and attention has been on endeavors within the walls of my home, and that has been just fine. That has been enough.
I realized long ago that I can’t “have it all” and I’m not SuperWoman. Over time I have come to understand how utterly depleted I get when I push myself too hard trying to juggle too much at once. I have learned the importance of rest, and quiet, and lazy afternoons. To see the pace of my days is still to see a lot, and I can’t claim to have any kind of ultimate control over how my days and evenings play out, but my practice of choosing to be present has been honed to an entirely new degree this summer.
Perhaps my recent difficulties with forming a blog entry have to do with my hesitancy in writing about the subject of being present in a way that lacks substance. I don’t want to merely churn out catchphrases and platitudes ~ I want to be able to express all the ways this summer has turned out to be one hell of a transformative time thanks to a daily, disciplined commitment to being present.
When I decide to do something, I get right to it. This is true with my work and it is true in my personal life. I have chosen to forgive someone with the same diligence as I’ve given to the decision to write a book. I hold myself accountable as my husband’s partner with the same enthusiasm as I give to meeting my deadlines. To live with integrity in one but not the other would be chaos ~ the large and small victories of overcoming hurdles or realizing dreams in one area of my life always inspires the same kind of attention in other areas of my life.
When I made a conscious, deliberate decision to stay in the here and now in the midst of all kinds of changes, uncertainties, and in-betweens currently playing out under our roof, I took it seriously. Not since a dear loved one was diagnosed with Stage Four Hodgkin’s Lymphoma many years ago have I been so committed to being present. Back then, I rationalized that it would be a monumental waste of time to imagine the worst case scenario ~ why go through that if it might not happen? Or ~ why go through that over and over again in my mind, only to have to then go through it again in real life? Sure enough, all odds were miraculously silenced, this person is now running triathlons, and I avoided a whole lot of unnecessary heartache. My deepest commitment during that time was to deal only with what was right in front of me, and that saved my sanity.
It was easy to slip out of that focus and back into old habits, but this summer I have been called upon to reaffirm that practice, only this time it is under much more pleasant circumstances. This has nothing to do with a health scare or a diagnosis of any kind ~ this is normal life transitions and natural shifts in a marriage. This is the exploration of questions that could only bubble up to the surface now, at this point in my life, and my need to give them the attention they deserve. This is all good, even though much is unknown.
The always wise and poetic Karen Maezen Miller wrote this on her blog:
“A collapse brings us to the solid ground, where all the truly unbelievable spectacles occur. We stand up, without wings, and walk the Earth in the supernatural act of being utterly ordinary. The miracle, you see, is what we already are.” ~excerpt from this entry
I can’t say I am going through a collapse right now on the exterior of my life, but I do feel as though I am going through a shedding of sorts, albeit an invisible one. I am in a wide open expanse of in-between, and my daily practice has been to stay here. To stay right here. I do this by taking a deep breath and focusing on all the sounds around me. I pull my attention back into my body. I remind myself that I am here, not there, and right here, right now, is just fine. It is exactly what it needs to be. It doesn’t need to be anything more or less and I don’t need to try to make it something else. It doesn’t need to be bigger or grander or wilder.
This takes practice, commitment, and discipline. In the same way I’ve built a business, organized a show, and written stories, I have found a way to be more fully present in my life, attentive to whatever is in front of me, whether laundry or an interview. All it takes is showing up ~ to right here. To right now. To the truth of whatever that is.
“In the absence of myth, there is truth, spectacular truth from which there is no collapse.” ~ Karen Maezen Miller
Five Things
This morning I decided to do a search for Vintage Wallpaper and all kinds of resources came up…
4. Colleenbean on Etsy
5. And for you LA locals, check out Walnut Wallpaper
The Entry That Will Mortify My Husband
{Cat Deeley, Host of So You Think You Can Dance? Image from the LA Times website, where you can see more of her fashionable ensembles.}
My husband and I have not had TV in ten years, and this means one thing – when we stay in hotels, we love to channel surf. Not that we find anything we want to watch very often – I feel lucky if we come across an old Seinfeld episode – but we love the game of it. So many channels! So many possibilities! We find it mind-boggling that there is a TV station for every possible niche and interest and passion and curiosity.
Which explains why you would have found me curled up in bed by 8:00pm in a hotel room in New York City this past June with a remote control in my hand. I tagged along with my husband on a business trip, and on the night he had a biz-nass dinner, I decided to indulge in what I cannot indulge in at home – television. Which explains how I happened to stumble across the reality TV show So You Think You Can Dance?, and it happened to be the episode where the top twenty dancers were chosen. Once the top twenty were chosen, it was a dance marathon to one winner, and I was immediately hooked.
I have since been keeping up with the show on Hulu, the only downside of which is that I have to wait a few days after the actual episodes to find out who has made each week’s cut. But I don’t mind – I have loved watching the show late at night when I can’t sleep or when I decide to take a longer lunch break. My husband is shocked and appalled that I have been following a reality TV show, but I don’t even think of it as a reality show, because everyone on the show is just too gosh darn nice. And earnest. And sincere. And crazy talented. And wildly passionate. And generous. I have watched twenty kids – yes, kids – put everything they have into their performances week after week, and, I’ll admit it, I have yet to get through an episode without crying. At least a little bit. There is something about the show that has pulled me in and held me captive. Even though it is a competition, the appreciation and gratitude all of the dancers and judges have shown one another has made the part of me that longs for more kindness in the world to beam.
But the point of this entry isn’t simply to wax poetic about the show, oh no. The point of this entry is to write a fan letter to the anchor of the show – Cat Deeley. Not anchor as in news anchor, but anchor as in the one that keeps everything running smoothly and joyfully. I am writing this here because I looked all over the Fox website and couldn’t find any information about where I could send an actual fan letter, so this is where it is going to have to happen. So here it goes:
Dear Cat Deeley ~
You have a tough job – you have to walk all over stage in ginormous heels, interact with the judges, respond to the audience and take care of the dancers, each of whom is up there full of nervous energy and teary disappointment and unbridled glee – all of which can happen within minutes of each other. You are so good at this, and what I love most is how clear it is you are operating from a place of genuine kindness, humor and support. You are there for those dancers, and they need you. The judges are all lovely as well – no snarky Simon Cowell wannabes here – but you, Cat Deeley, emit a special sparkle with everyone whether the circumstances call for you to be comforting, funny, spontaneous or encouraging. You do it all, and you do it gracefully.
Sincerely, Your Fan, Christine, AKA Swirly
So there you have it – I think Cat Deeley is the Bee’s Knees, plain and simple, and I can’t wait to see the season finale. It’s actually airing tomorrow, but I won’t be able to see it until Sunday. I’m loving the anticipation.
“The body says what words cannot.” ~Martha Graham
Five Things
1. The amazing Jamie Ridler is at it again with her Creative Living TV channel!
2. Karen Wolrond’s images from her recent trip to Kenya are beautiful, powerful, soulful.
3. Filmmaker extraordinaire Andrea Kreuzhage has teamed up with the creators of the documentary film Healers: Miracles, Mysteries and John of God. Learn more about it right here.
4. Lisa Field-Elliott is getting ready for her next Doorways Project, which will be to document the work of midwives in the Tarahumara region of Mexico. Help her get there by becoming one of her backers on Kickstarter!
5. I’ll be starting weekly Inspirational Bits + Bauble emails this fall. To sign up, click here!
6. One more addition – hot off the presses! The lovely Linda Esterley is helping out Kindred Kingdoms Wildlife Rehabilitation Center and their partnership with Macy’s Shop for a Cause event. Here’s what Linda has to say:
Purchase a Shop for a Cause Pass for only $5 and 100% goes to Kindred Kingdoms Wildlife Rehabilitation (KKW). The pass is worth 25% off at any Macy’s, even online (code is on pass) on Saturday, August 27th. KKW really is in desperate need – the raptors eat over $200 worth of food per week, and they have close to 100 other animals – bear cubs, bobcats, hummingbirds, skunks, squirrels, ravens, you get the idea. From the Macy’s website:
When your guests Shop for a Cause on Saturday, August 27, 2011, they’ll receive 25% off* on regular, sale and clearance merchandise, including designer brands you love, throughout the store. And, they will be eligible to win a $500 gift card, no purchase necessary.
* Exclusions and restrictions apply. See shopping pass for details.
To purchase a pass, email Linda at kitasmom@verizon.net. Do it today!
Nothing Too Precious
{Taken last month at Gus Harper’s Studio, where I had a plethora of power tools at my disposal.}
I love to deconstruct – to pull things apart and peel back layers, to take something that was once considered a finished piece, dismantle it, and create something new. Or toss it. I did a little of all of this not so long ago when I took a stack of finished work to Gus’s studio a few weeks ago – the same studio I rented last summer – and proceeded to saw them into smaller pieces. I felt downright gleeful marking up pieces and figuring out how to hold myself steady enough to saw a straight line. It has been a while since I’ve gotten truly messy in my studio, and this felt like a good beginning to a new series of work that has been brewing in my mind.
The theme of shedding layers and releasing attachments has been a big one this year, and I’ve come to adopt a “nothing is too precious” attitude regarding just about everything. Which doesn’t mean I am flippant, it just means I am growing increasingly comfortable with the idea of shedding what needs to be shed in order to make room for a more expansive heart, mind, home, marriage, family and life. With every release I feel a deeper settling into my own skin, and I take every moment of uncertainty – when I hear the yelps of worry and anxiety in the not so distant corners of my awareness – as an opportunity to stay fully present. I take a deep breath. I look at everything around me. I bring my awareness back into my body. And, just like that, it works, and the joy that is available to me in every moment just keeps growing and evolving and becoming easier to access.
I might not always be able to say this. I might someday be forced to release something that feels wholly unreleasable. But for now, for today, I can dismantle, break apart and unleash with abandon. And there is no need to re-build too quickly – to figure out a plan or a blueprint or an itinerary. I can just be in the mess, and savor the unfinished stories. They’ll reveal themselves soon enough, and right now I’m loving the mysteries.
