{Taken last month at Gus Harper’s Studio, where I had a plethora of power tools at my disposal.}

I love to deconstruct – to pull things apart and peel back layers, to take something that was once considered a finished piece, dismantle it, and create something new. Or toss it. I did a little of all of this not so long ago when I took a stack of finished work to Gus’s studio a few weeks ago – the same studio I rented last summer – and proceeded to saw them into smaller pieces. I felt downright gleeful marking up pieces and figuring out how to hold myself steady enough to saw a straight line. It has been a while since I’ve gotten truly messy in my studio, and this felt like a good beginning to a new series of work that has been brewing in my mind.

The theme of shedding layers and releasing attachments has been a big one this year, and I’ve come to adopt a “nothing is too precious” attitude regarding just about everything. Which doesn’t mean I am flippant, it just means I am growing increasingly comfortable with the idea of shedding what needs to be shed in order to make room for a more expansive heart, mind, home, marriage, family and life. With every release I feel a deeper settling into my own skin, and I take every moment of uncertainty – when I hear the yelps of worry and anxiety in the not so distant corners of my awareness – as an opportunity to stay fully present. I take a deep breath. I look at everything around me. I bring my awareness back into my body. And, just like that, it works, and the joy that is available to me in every moment just keeps growing and evolving and becoming easier to access.

I might not always be able to say this. I might someday be forced to release something that feels wholly unreleasable. But for now, for today, I can dismantle, break apart and unleash with abandon. And there is no need to re-build too quickly – to figure out a plan or a blueprint or an itinerary. I can just be in the mess, and savor the unfinished stories. They’ll reveal themselves soon enough, and right now I’m loving the mysteries.