About two weeks ago, I let it be known through various channels that I would likely be hard to reach for a while. My husband and I had one of those days that inspired the phrase, "What a difference a day makes." I can't say we were blindsided ~ we weren't ~ but circumstances in our life took an unexpected left turn, and now here we are, headed in an entirely new direction.
My husband has resigned from his job. We're moving to Santa Barbara. Any other details are, at this point, safely tucked away in the caverns of the unknown, slumbering out of sight until the time to reveal themselves arrives. Just beneath the surface of all the activity that is now going on under our roof as we prepare to sell our house and move, I am trying to maintain a clean, quiet space within me that is free of all the questions and uncertainties that accompany a transition such as this. I am also trying to move gracefully and without resistance through those moments when my emotions seem to come flooding out of nowhere.
There are so many different angles to this in-between space in am now inhabiting, so many ways I can look at what all of this means. Even trying to write this blog entry and give some kind of glimpse into the garden I am now tending is a huge challenge. It is as if all of these thoughts, ideas and questions have a will of their own, and, needing to remain in darkness in order to do the hidden work they need to do, won't allow me to formulate coherent sentences about them. This journey has just begun, and the seeds of it have just been nestled into place. If I try to expose them to the light too soon or too harshly, I risk draining them of their incredible potency. There is much possibility in these seeds, so for now, I can only offer the basics. I can only share the facts.
One of my closest companions through all of this is Anam Cara by John O'Donohue, in which he says "...everything we need for our journey has already been given to us." Between reading this and having just released Desire to Inspire, I am acutely aware of the current circumstances of my life as being opportunities to live by the words I am underlining in Anam Cara and those I wrote in Desire to Inspire. This is not my way of trying to suggest Desire to Inspire is anywhere at the spiritual and intellectual level of Anam Cara, but I see them as two sides of the same
coin mirror. In these words that I have inhaled, inhabited, written, shared and embraced, I see a reflection of my life, and the way I am moving through this experience in particular. At every point of this transition I am given the gift of opportunity to put these ideas, beliefs and philosophies into practice ~ into living, breathing action. And this is an extraordinary privilege, something not to be greeted with fear or ambivalence or resistance, but with joy and light and beauty and the thrill of the wild unknown.