Limbo

 

I am being called upon to let go on so many levels these days, most especially with regard to our living situation. We continue to exist in a not entirely unpleasant state of limbo - we're getting settled in Santa Barbara, the house is still for sale in Santa Monica. My studio is up there, my computer is down here. I have a work space down here that works well enough, but most of my files are up north, and each day down here I have to tidy things up so all looks ship-shape in the event of a showing. It isn't a terrible situation, but it is one that requires much patience, flexibility and surrender. There is much I cannot do at the moment - focus on serious writing or get started on - gasp! - a new series of paintings. But I can get to work on an entirely slightly-out-of-left-field idea I've been dreaming up for a long while, one where progress can be made in small, easily-interruptable spurts of activity. And I can let another project evolve slowly, organically, with plenty of light and fresh air and wide open space.

I am, in many ways, hunkering down and working under the radar - humming along quietly and lining up new creations like beautifully iced cakes in a shiny glass display case. But the blinds are drawn on my studio, so the work I am doing still feels very hidden, very unseen. And that is a strange place to be when social media makes one feel like every day must be an announcement-worthy day. These days my main "announcements" involve nothing more than photos of Tilda and some typewritten musings. Beyond that I am laying low, keeping things as loose and soft as possible so that when the house sells I can leap into action and get us moved gently and seamlessly. And because that magic date when the house sells is a complete unknown, I have to let go - of wondering or guessing or planning or strategizing. There is no figuring this out or lining up goals on my calendar. Instead, my intention is to take advantage of what each day has to offer, and be grateful for all the tiny nooks and corners that a state of limbo encourages me to explore.

Christine Mason Miller

Santa Barbara, CA

Writer * Artist * Storyteller * Guide