False Sense of Urgency


Well then.

Let's see...my last blog entry was posted on July 10th, letting everyone know I was about to dive deep into our move from Santa Monica to Santa Barbara. It has been a month of boxes and organizing, of arranging and re-arranging. All in all, the move could not have gone more smoothly - nothing broken, and everything actually fit where we wanted it to. We unpacked our last box less than a week after we arrived with the moving van and I plowed through the last list of moving-related tasks last weekend. We are here - moved in, beginning to get settled, and, day by day, figuring out what all of this is going to be. My husband is now retired, for heaven's sake! And while his last day at work was at the end of March, our slow transition from Santa Monica to Santa Barbara made things chaotic just enough for us to avoid exploring the details of how this new life of ours is going to work. But we're here now, and the only thing left for us to do is wake up each day and see where the wind takes us - with each other, with our work, with our families and with Tilda.

In the midst of all the upheaval, I wrote this in my journal:

False Sense of Urgency

I wrote it when I became aware that much of the pressure I was putting on myself in a variety of areas of my life came from, um, me. That statement soon became a question I was asking myself with regular frequency:  Are you creating a false sense of urgency here? Most of the time my answer was yes. So I was then presented with a choice - cling to that false sense of urgency, which, in many ways, made me feel purposeful and important and needed. (Something had to be done. Actions on my part were necessary.) Or I could let it go, and instead trust that whatever needed to get done would get done in its own time. In other words:  Exhale, and get on with things without the stress.

My husband and I are now in the throes of figuring out an entirely new life. All is wide open, and I find myself wanting to be very careful about what I let in, including my own inflated sense of urgency in any number of situations. In Santa Monica, our life revolved around house guests and movement and schedules. It was a great life, a fun life, a life that was big. Here in Santa Barbara, our life is shifting into one of stillness and observation, of quiet and spontaneity. We are creating new habits, establishing new routines. Everything has slowed down. For the time being, I have the opportunity to let go of unnecessary urgency, to release my grip on clocks and calendars, to allow things to get done....later.

And what do you know - things are still getting done. All is continuing to move forward. There is still passionate movement, there is still a sense of purpose.

"Sitting quietly, doing nothing, Spring comes, and the grass grows all by itself."  ~Zen Proverb

For more thoughts on what I've been up to this summer, why today's gallery is from the wilds of Big Sur, and what is taking shape for the months ahead, click here.

Christine Mason Miller

Santa Barbara, CA

Writer * Artist * Storyteller * Guide