Warmth
Today, while playing with Tilda outside, I had such a powerful urge to lie down beneath the sun, I sprawled out right there on the tile sidewalk in our backyard. And it was heaven.
Five Things
1. Marianne Elliott is back in Afghanistan ~ follow her journey right here.
2. Jolie Guillebeau’s beautiful new book is here!
3. Did you know today is Plant a Kiss Day?
4. Congratulations to Maya Stein for reaching her Kickstarter fundraising goal for Type Rider. She leaves in less than week!
5. And did you know? Honey Badger Don’t Care!
Family, Time and Magnificent Marney
In case you haven’t heard, the lovely and inspiring Marney Makridakis just released Creating Time: Using Creativity to Reinvent the Clock and Reclaim Your Life. It is a beautiful full-color book filled with delicious images, a crowd of astounding contributors and all kinds of snippets, stories and exercises to support living a creative, mindful life.
Marney is also here to share her list of Five Ways to Create More Meaning Time for Your Family and Yourself, a topic that is close to my heart…
Family Time
5 Ways to Create More Meaningful Time for Your Family (and Yourself!)
By Marney Makridakis author of Creating Time
Pay attention to the conversations of parents around you, and notice how often the subject of time comes up:
“I’m fine, just crazy busy. . .”
“I just don’t know when I can find the time. . .”
“I can’t really talk now, I’m running late. . .”
People used to be tied to things like families, communities, rituals, worship, curiosity, and beauty. Now we are tied to schedules, watches, datebooks, computers, and keeping up with the latest gadgets that start with i. When you’re a parent, you’ve usually got multiple clocks ticking away inside your head, as you’re keeping track of everyone’s time. You’re likely to look to the latest time management tools or gadgets to try to help you gain control of all the spinning plates. Time management can improve what you accomplish but often at the peril of what you experience. As a result, the more that busy parents try to manage their time, the more fragmented they often feel.
The concept of creating time is not just about creating more hours in the day, but creating a new relationship with time that benefits everyone in the family. Here are a few ways to get started:
1. Become aware of different kinds of time
All time is not created equal. The Greek language has two words for time – kronos and kairos. Kronos is sequential, measured time (from this we get the word chronology) and kairos is non-linear, circular time. Simply being aware of which time state you are in expands your control of time. For example: you’re trying to get your child dressed and out the door for an appointment and the more anxious you’re getting, the more your child seems to be resisting. In this moment, you can recognize you are in kronos time and your child is in kairos. What if you were to join your child in kairos…what might that look like? Maybe pretending that his socks are wild tickle puppets is more important than getting there “on time”. Exploring the shift between kronos and kairos time is a powerful way to access new ideas and insights.
2. Change the way you talk about time
You are no doubt aware that your children is listening to and absorbing to every word you say. Every time you complain about not having enough time, or every time you rush around, your child is watching and learning what time means. Further, your own psyche is listening, too; time seems to reacts as if we’re yelling in a canyon, and whatever we are saying about time comes back to us in our experience. If we are saying, “There’s never enough time; I’m constantly chasing time and I can’t find it,” then our experience echoes back, “Yes! There’s never enough time; you’re constantly chasing time and you can’t find it!” If, however, we are saying, “I have all the time in the world. Time is fluid and changing at my design. More and more, I see that I have all the time I need,” then this is reflected back in your experience. When we talk and act as if we had all the time in the world, our perception of time does indeed slow down, and our children learn that time is a precious resource, rather than a cause of never-ending anxiety and dread.
3. Measure time in new ways
Time is measured in linear fashion, with numbers on a clock and squares on a calendar. But what if we could interpret time as a qualitative entity instead of something just measured by quantity? For example, instead of judging a family activity by how long it takes, try measuring it by aspects such as joy, connection, silliness, and meaning. Introduce these new measurements into your family:
“How many laughs until we go to the park?”
“How many memories did we just create?”
“Three hugs ‘til dinner!”
Ask each family member for new ideas for measuring time in new ways. Embrace your children’s creativity and have fun learning how to “tell time” in new ways!
4. Play games to learn to “tell time”
As your family talks about new ways to think about, measure, and experience time, try creating a new “Family Time” clock that is calibrated to true time, the things that are most important to you, as a family. Cut out a circle from posterboard or find an old clock at a thrift store that you can alter. Ask each family member to replace the numbers with images or words that reflect the things that are most important to them. After your project is complete, place it in plain view in your home, to remind everyone to engage in a new relationship with time.
Each time we make a choice to work with time, instead of against it, we are expanding our sense of time. When we are not slaves to time and its perceived boundaries, our family relationships blossom. We also discover a liberating new view of self and a fresh perspective on the meaning of being human, empowered, and fully alive.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Marney K. Makridakis is the author of Creating Time. She founded the Artella online community for creators of all kinds and the print magazine Artella. A popular speaker and workshop leader, she created the ARTbundance approach of self-discovery through art. She lives in Dallas, Texas. Visit her online at http://www.artellaland.com.
Based on the book Creating Time: Using Creativity to Reinvent the Clock and Reclaim Your Life ©2012 by Marney Makridakis. Published with permission of New World Library http://www.newworldlibrary.com
How It Happens
{This entry is part of a series of stories chronicling recent transitional developments in my life. These stories, and my brief explorations of them, are offered here as a way to share inspiration, experience and truth. To follow them all, click here.}
A conversation yesterday:
Her: “So, how are you? Tell me what’s been going on.”
Me: “Each day I’m doing my best not to panic.”
Her: “That sounds about right.”
Me: “But each day is also a great day – really, truly, I am having nothing but great days. It’s just that in the midst of it all, I am having to make the effort not to panic.”
Her: “Mmm hmmmmm….”
Panic attack avoidance methods aside, all is quiet on the house-for-sale front. After a slew of showings, the crickets have started chirping, and we’re just sitting tight until that perfect buyer walks in. In the meantime, we’re getting details in place for the mayhem that will commence once the official papers are signed.
While such stillness is available to me, other progress is being made quietly on larger work-related projects. I am feeling truly appreciative of the gift of living in limbo, as I have time to do things like overhaul my website, explore some new creative directions and take a few road trips here and there. One of my little pet projects is the unveiling of a new weekly email series:
{beauty * light * inspiration}
Every Tuesday three lovely morsels will arrive in your mailbox ~ a beautiful image, a quote, poem or passage, and a bit of inspiration from friends, peers and people I’ve never met but somehow found and fell in love with. No self-promotion, no “newsworthy announcements”, just something I’d like to offer. That’s all. If you’re not already on my email list and would like to be in on the action, send a note to me at christine@swirlygirl.com with the subject header beauty. They begin tomorrow!
In other news, this note landed in my inbox a few weeks ago:
The next day I happened to be online, found a magazine about art studios and bought it. It arrived two days later – a miracle with online purchases – and as I was randomly going through the magazine, again I was transfixed by the art, saw John O’Donohue’s name and said to myself, “Anybody who uses his name in their art has got to be special,” and upon further “looking” I discovered it was you again!!! Imagine my surprise!! What does this all mean??? I don’t know but something in your bulletin board really speaks to me and I just needed to tell you! Lisa in Santa Monica
Turns out, it meant we were supposed to have coffee and be immediately crazy about each other. As we were saying good-bye, she shared that she was worried I, or my husband, would think she was a weird stalker, but I assured her that no, this is the way it all happens.
One Thing
This week’s list is a brief but mighty one, as the deadline is drawing near ~ just 48 hours away ~ to fund an extraordinary project. In case you haven’t heard, Maya Stein is gearing up for Type Rider ~ a 40-day, 1300-mile cycling journey from Amherst, Massachusetts to Milwaukee, Wisconsin towing a turquoise blue Remington typewriter. To learn more about this poetic adventure, watch the video, visit the Type Rider Kickstarter page, and contribute whatever you can. Every single bit helps.
Thoughts on Creative Joy
I was asked to share some thoughts on Creative Joy in celebration of a beautiful gathering being organized by three of my favorite peeps on the planet. The Creative Joy Retreat will be held June 28 – July 2, 2012, led by Jennifer Louden, Marianne Elliott (a Desire to Inspire Contributor) and Susannah Conway. This is going to be a meaningful, transformative gathering, and I am thrilled to play a small role in this most joyful endeavor.
They asked me to share some thoughts on Creative Joy ~
- What is creative joy for you?
Time * Space * Silence
- What did it look like this week?
It looked messy, truth be told. It involved tears, and quiet, and a willingness to let my emotions BE rather than try to push them away. Even in these messy moments, there is transformation happening, which is always a creative act. Ultimately, deep down, this is a joyful experience, even if it doesn’t look like it on the surface. This is the stuff of life. This is where the magic happens.
- What gets in the way for you?
My tendency to over-think things.
- What feeds it?
Time * Space * Silence * Deep Breaths
- If your creative joy had a voice, what would it say about what it loves, needs, and hates?
It would say it loves this moment and the possibility of every moment in front of me. It would say it needs plenty of water, plenty of quiet, and a lot of laughter. It would say it could do without the pressure I often put on myself to be SuperWoman.
- What’s your learning edge with creative joy these days?
To spend some time in a space of unknowing regarding what the future holds for my work. My husband just retired and we are moving, so much is up in the air, which means there is much possibility before us!
Riding the Rapids
{This entry is part of a series of stories chronicling recent transitional developments in my life. These stories, and my brief explorations of them, are offered here as a way to share inspiration, experience and truth. To follow them all, click here.}
I am writing from a friend’s kitchen table ~ on an all week road trip for a work brainstorming session, some Big Sur magic, time with friends and time alone while getting from place to place. I have written much about my car becoming my haven during an especially tumultuous time in my life many years ago, and that small space continues to serve me well. I have been driving in silence, to some of my latest iTunes downloads, to episodes of This American Life, Humankind and ~ a new discovery ~ Hearing Voices. One of my favorite moments of solitude so far was an impromptu walk through a field along Highway 1 between Big Sur and Carmel that led to the cliff overlooking a small cove. A thick bank of fog was hovering in the near distance, so I couldn’t see much beyond the length of a football field, and strong, steady waves were rolling in through the milky turquoise water one after another after another. The sound was not deafening, but formidable, and I sat in that spot for thirty minutes breathing deeply and taking in the view. When I got back into my car and on the road, I had a huge smile on my face, feeling all the magic and calm and strength of that particular spot on our planet ~ all the beauty that pulls me to this place whenever I need serious grounding.
Last week provided many a quirky and jaw-dropping story, as well as days of non-stop house-for-sale-related activities that reminded me why it was important for me to make a conscious choice to keep my time as flexible as possible during this process. Everyday brings something unexpected, and I need to reserve a certain amount of energy for the day the house is officially sold and my husband and I are called to action. One day we’ll be waiting, the next day we’ll have a mile-long task list.
In the midst of all the nuttiness, a celebration memorial for a dear friend who passed away last fall was held, and I had to get ready to read John O’Donohue’s On the Death of a Beloved to, it turns out, about two hundred people. I practiced enough that I was able to read it out loud on my own without getting weepy, and when it came time to stand up and hold the microphone, I spoke a bit about O’Donohue, took a deep breath and read the blessing. I wanted to do a good job for my friend, and for her family and for all those there who, like me, had been given the gift of her friendship. My reading was an incredibly small token of gratitude for all the ways she impacted my life.
As I ride the rapids we find ourselves in right now, I continue to go through moments of unexpected emotion, deep calm, anxiety and gratitude. It is all getting churned about together, so I never know what is going to splash up each day. But I am getting more used to the sloshing, and doing a better job at keeping myself balanced on the raft that is carrying me. I am doing a better job at letting what needs to come up be expressed, and recognizing when the situation calls for my stillness rather than my immediate reaction. As many have said to me over the past couple of weeks ~ if I wasn’t experiencing some emotional turbulence through this, that would just be, well, weird.
More stories to come, but in the meantime my interview with All Things Girl just went up, and you can also see what I have to say about spring cleaning on Scoutie Girl in a post by the lovely Liz Kalloch.
Play Me I’m Yours
This project has been a really fun one, and the piano I started working on at the end of 2011 is now sitting in front of Royce Hall on the campus of UCLA for anyone to play and enjoy.
To learn about the project and see where all the pianos are, click here.
For an article in the Daily Bruin about the project, click here.
For another ~ and much more professionally produced ~ beautiful and inspiring video featuring my piano by George Ohan, click here.
Five Things
1. Deanne Fitzpatrick ~ A very talented, very kind soul
4. I am officially addicted to Reed’s Ginger Candies
5. Love & Toast ~ just beautiful
Studio News
All the news that’s fit to print ~
* My latest story can be found in the first pages of the current issue of Somerset Life, a wee feature on one of my favorite boutiques in Santa Monica.
* My dear friend and fellow global explorer Ann Howley is in the spotlight this week over at Global Inspirations, talking about her 500-mile pilgrimage through Spain. Be sure to also check out my interview with Nina McConigley, who shares her experiences working at Tara Books ~ publisher of beautiful books and more ~ in Chennai, India.
* Play Me I’m Yours has officially begun in the city of Los Angeles, and the piano I designed is now sitting in front of Royce Hall on the campus of UCLA. I’ll be there this Thursday, April 12th at noon for a special kick-off ceremony ~ stop by and play a tune!
* Things are moving and shaking over at 21 Secrets ~ you can still join in on the fun! Register right here.
